romance – Toby Hemker

Perennial Joy

Is this a perennial joy?

I’m just a stressed out millennial boy.

Too afraid to throw my heart in

Ever since you tended my garden.

All the strength and religion it took

I read every horticulture book

But we still whither away

The second seasons change.

Now I choose the seeds that I sow

And till the place they will go

Try to give the right attention

Wait with bated aprehension.

Someone tell me the equation

Is this just vernalization?

And when this lover’s winter ends

Will we be something more than friends

A bud, a bloom, some sign of vigor

Will I be me or something much bigger…

Is this what happiness takes

Or just another heart mistake?

What kind of gardener are you

Without my garden to tend to?

Monsters and Angels

If you’re a monster, then I’ll build you a city to destroy.

There’s much more evil in this world than the love between two boys.

And you can climb a tower

And I will be Fae Ray if you desire

And if you let me I will show you

The love that you require

The love that you require.

If I’m an Angel, I was tempted the minute that you fell

Cause any heaven without you there is just another hell.

And I will play the trumpet

And I will lead the charge on Calgary

If I think for just one moment

That you’d stay here with me

That you’d stay here with me.

You’re too selfish, I’m too thoughtless

We’re both too insecure.

If these are symptoms of an illness

Our love might be the cure.

We don’t have to suffer

We can choose to let go of our pain

And if it takes awhile to get there

I’ll love you just the same

I’ll love you just the same.

If you’re a failure then the test was politically skewed.

If fame and fortune is what matters, then everybody’s screwed.

Our hearts don’t have equations

Our souls aren’t constellations we can map

But if you tell me you still want me

I’ll give you all I have

I’ll give you all I have.

You say you’re broken, but I’m certain your parts are all in place.

I’ll thank Benini for your body,

Rembrandt for your face.

Different things are different

And different isn’t something to erase

And though our gears aren’t turning perfect

I’ll love you all my days

I’ll love you all my days.

You often say that I should leave you and find a better man.

The thing is, baby I don’t want to. Even if I can.

So what if I’m mistaken

So what if I am taking things too far?

The point is simply that I love you

Just the way you are.

You’re perfect how you are.

I love you how you are.

Death knocks

Death knocks upon my door,

Not an obtruder, truth told.

Never before has a suitor been more prompt, more proud to court me.

I asked his boneyard hand by closet garotte.

Be his sepulcher arms inviting,

His embrace a lurid comfort proffer,

I may not come home till morning,

I may not come home till morning.

I may not come home.

To Be Yours

I want to leave tracks in your space,

Socks on your floor,

Hairs on your pillow,

Words in your ear.

A dip in your bed,

A print on your arm,

The impression of an impression

In the thick of your heart.

I want to be yours till we’re not

Till the earth turns to dust,

And dust turns to stardust,

To planets,

To us.

Too much too much

Too many sedatives

Too much amphetamine

Too many negatives

Diggin a hole in me.

How can I get out?

I can’t even get up,

I’m sick of this ghetto

And done with this getup.

My makeup is made up

My whole genealogy

Breaking me down

While this breakup is killing me.

This breakup is killing me.

Daily distortions

The cognitive kind

Of contortions contorting

My encumbered mind.

Coalescing ephemery

Out of validity

Pressure and pleasure

Both low probability.

Sentimentality

Stealing my sanity

Stuck in this town

While this breakup is killing me.

This breakup is killing me.

Id intuition

My ego unchained

Inhibition

A vision

I visit, ashamed

Of imperfect partitions

Of my personality,

Placating

Catered-to

Boys of banality.

Basal and base

I will wait for you willingly,

You’re still around

But this breakup is killing me.

This breakup is killing me.

One Hot Night

The air was so brittle,

Static crackles

Arced along the windowsills and tabletops

You poured gold into glasses

And rhymed to me

about German Matrices.

A winter hotter than summer,

To the virtue of zealous radiators.

Soaked in sweat,

And more love than sweat,

Each bead paint-rolling salt stains

On cracked earth bodies.

Let your rhythm be the heartbeat of my moment.

Be With You

She wants to go where he goes,

Know what he knows,

Be where he is.

“What’s yours can be yours.” She said.

“What’s yours can be mine, can be ours.” She thought.

He wants to go where she goes,

Know what she knows,

Be where she is.

“What’s mine can be mine.” He said

“What’s mine can be yours,” he thought. “Can be ours.”